Published Aug. 15th, 2024

One man's junk is...

As I continue the daunting but rewarding task of cleaning out my father’s shop, I’m struck not only by the tools and trinkets he collected over the years but also by the overwhelming clutter. It’s an experience filled with mixed emotions. Each discovery comes with a story, a memory—but also a question: Why did he hold on to so much? Why did he let things pile up and allow his once-beautiful space to descend into chaos?

My father was a man who loved to fix things; cars, tractors, household items, pick your favorite item—you name it. He had a tool for every job. And if he didn’t have the right tool, he’d make one. Yet, as I sift through the layers of dust and cobwebs, it’s clear that he also kept things that no longer served a purpose. Items that, to an outsider, might seem like junk, but to him, they must have held some kind of value—whether sentimental or practical.

One of the more surprising finds during this cleanup was a bee smoker, buried deep in a forgotten corner. A few weeks ago, I found an old beekeeper’s head net, which I vlogged about, never realizing that a bee smoker also hid in the workshop. After talking with my mother, I learned that my great-grandfather, House, fancied beekeeping. The connection made sense, yet it left me wondering—why did my father keep these items? 

He wasn’t a beekeeper. He didn't even have a desire or passion to try beekeeping. What was it about these tools that made them worth holding onto? I’ve come to realize that what might look like hoarding often has deeper roots. It’s easy to label someone as a hoarder without understanding the emotional ties they may have to the things they keep. For my father, perhaps these items represented a connection to the past, to his own father and grandfather. Or maybe they were simply kept out of habit, with the intention to fix or use them someday—a “just in case” mentality that never quite came to fruition.

I’m not immune to keeping things for sentimental reasons or for that elusive “one day” when they might be useful again. For example, I’ve always been drawn to Leatherman tools, probably because my father relied on his own multi-tool so much. Finding his old Leatherman in the workshop, in perfect condition despite the worn and dusty case, reminded me why I’ve always loved these tools. There’s a sense of reliability in them, just as there was in my father. But more than that, having a Leatherman strapped to my belt always made me feel connected to him, no matter where I was.

This journey through my father’s workshop isn’t just about cleaning up the mess. It’s about uncovering the stories behind the clutter, trying to understand what made him hold onto things, and reflecting on my own relationship with the objects I keep. Why do we hold onto certain items long after they’ve served their purpose? Is it a way of preserving memories, or are we simply reluctant to let go?

Hoarding behavior often goes beyond mere accumulation of physical possessions; it is a complex interplay of emotions, memories, and psychological attachments to the past. The act of hoarding is not solely about the tangible items themselves but rather about the intangible values and sentiments they represent. Each item hoarded may hold a significant memory, evoke a particular emotion, or symbolize a connection to a specific moment in time. This emotional attachment can make it challenging for individuals to part with their belongings, even if they no longer serve a practical purpose.

While the mention of saving thirteen toilets may seem unusual or even humorous, it underscores the extent to which hoarding tendencies can lead individuals down unexpected paths. The act of hoarding can sometimes lead to the accumulation of seemingly impractical or excessive items, reflecting a deeper psychological need rather than a rational decision-making process. It is in these moments of seemingly irrational attachment that the true complexity of hoarding behavior is revealed.

Engaging in the process of decluttering, as mentioned in the workshop scenario, is not merely about creating physical space but also about confronting the underlying reasons for our attachment to possessions. It involves a journey of self-discovery, where we explore the intricate web of emotions, memories, and beliefs that underpin our hoarding tendencies. Through this process, we come to understand when it is necessary to let go, not just of physical objects but also of emotional baggage that may be weighing us down.

In the end, whether it’s a bee smoker, a multi-tool, or a collection of seemingly random parts, these items connect us to something deeper. They remind us of the people we’ve lost, the memories we’ve made, and the stories that continue to shape us. And maybe, through the clutter, there’s a lesson in understanding and compassion—for others and for ourselves.

If you’ve ever faced a similar cleanup, or if you’ve wondered why you hold onto certain things, I encourage you to look beyond the surface. There’s always a story waiting to be uncovered, even in the most unexpected places.